At Least...

People have noticed? People have been emailing me to ask where my blog is?

Which might mean people care?

About whether I write or not?

No, I haven't been on here very often of late. Many reasons really. No, that's not true. I have many excuses but only one real reason. Excuses are, I've been busy, haven't been feeling the best - a little off par. But, the reason is I've been suffering from a complete lack of focus and dare I admit it an ounce of laziness?

I'm not lazy by nature. And when I get my teeth into a project I'm excited and passionate about, there's no stopping me. I'm a force to be reckoned with... Which makes this inertia I currently feel, something odd and strange as far as my writing is concerned. For the past three years I've written, re-written and edited two books. I've loved every moment of it. The learning curve, the challenges, even the pitfall of rejection hasn't stopped me - until recently.

I had a lovely rejection. Yes, there is such a thing. A handwritten 'sorry' from an agent saying she'd just taken on something similar. Apart from nabbing an agent, this was the sort of thing I'd yearned for. Personal feedback. So, it should have spurred me on, right?

Wrong. I've been unable to write a word since. Frozen. Uninspired. Trashing every idea that comes into my head as not being viable or commercial. Dumped the thirty thousand words of what I thought would be book three. All over the place. COMPLETELY unfocussed.

And this is where I'd normally tell you , that's it! No More! I'm back with a vengeance!

Wrong again. I'm not. At the risk of sounding a total nightmare, I just can't come up with an idea I'm passionate about for book three and I don't want to write another novel that's 'just another book.'

I've taken a few weeks off - hoped it would recharge the writing batteries. It hasn't worked yet. But I'm going ski-ing next week (yes I know, ridiculous learning to ski at my age but hubby is going through a mid life crisis and I'd rather be with him than against him. Which means I have to have a second attempt at ski-ing. Strap boards to my aching legs and push myself down a mountain my limbs bent at impossible angles.) Now, surely there's a story in there somewhere?!

Yes, there is...but is it enough? Could it be the next big thing?

C'mon you lot, help me move on! Tell me to pull myself together and get back to writing for writing's sake. Because if I can do that, I know that magic can happen. And next big things can emerge without having had to figure them out at the start...